Anything Goes (From "Anything Goes")

Times have changed
And we've often rewound the clock
Since the Puritans got a shock
When they landed on Plymouth Rock

If today
Any shock they should try to stem
Instead of landing on Plymouth Rock
Plymouth Rock would land on them

In olden days, a glimpse of stocking
Was looked on as something shocking
But now, God knows
Anything goes

Good authors too
Who once knew better words
Now only use four-letter words writing prose
Anything goes

If driving fast cars you like, if low bars you like
If old hymns you like, if bare limbs you like
If Mae West you like or me undressed you like
Why nobody will oppose

When every night
The set that's smart is intruding
At nudist parties in studios
Anything goes

When Missus Ned McLean (God bless her)
Can get Russian reds to yes her
Then I suppose
Anything goes

When Rockefeller still can hoard
Enough money to let Max Gordon
Produce his shows
Anything goes

The world has gone mad today and good's bad today
And black's white today, and day's night today
And that gent today you gave a cent today
Once had several chateaux

When folks who still can ride in jitneys
Find out Vanderbilts and Whitneys
Lack baby clothes
Anything goes

When Sam Goldwyn can with great conviction
Instruct Anna Sten in diction
Then Anna shows
Anything goes

When you hear that Lady Mendl standing up
Now does a handspring
Landing up on her toes
Anything goes

Just think of those shocks you've got
And those knocks you've got
And those blues you've got
From that news you've got
And those pains you've got
(If any brains you've got)
From those little radios

So Missus R. with all her trimmings
Can broadcast abed from Simmons
'Cause Franklin knows
Anything goes