Epic Rap Battle: Nerd vs. Geek

Yes, I am a nerd
Bookworm, I'm studious
From my cerebral cortex to my gluteus
Back in kindergarten I aced my college entrance exam
Now, I'm no rocket scientist
Oh wait, I am

When I pour my Alpha-bits, I get nothing but straight A's
My retainer and headgear connect to a back brace
I've got a pocket protector, protector, protector
I broke my glasses on purpose so I could tape 'em together
Run back to Reddit and type stuff no one will see
You're a geek, that means you're just a hipster wannabe

That's right, I'm a geek
I've got brains and a personality
I wear my glasses sincerely
And my T-shirts ironically
There're some things you can't learn in a class
Or else I'd sign you up for "Intro to how not to be a social outcast"

You're just so early 2013
I was the cool form of uncool before uncool became a thing
I use an app to pair pork with the perfect Bordeaux
Too bad there's no app to neutralize your B.O.
While you're lost in Second Life letting your fingernails grow long
I'll be syncing up my iPhone, tablet, TV and your mom

Sure grooming's not my thing
But I don't care
I look so good in chainmail that it's not Renaissance Fair
Doesn't LARP stand for Loser And Reject Party?
I'd rather cosplay with hotties than play fake army

I tried Dungeons and Dragons once
And I died of boredom
But I'll still kick your Assassin's Creed post-mortem
Mario party's the only one you're getting invited to
Your life is like Skyrim
An endless quest of solitude

Ooh, you beat Angry Birds
You're not a gamer 'cause you battle your friends with words
You click on cute icons, I execute commands
Do you really need a genius to teach you Garageband?

I landed the first Roflcopter
And took in orphans when I was 12
'Cause I'm an early adopter
I can wear Google Glass without looking like a dweeb
OK, maybe not
But I can yelp us some good pho to eat

You need 16 gigs of RAM to watch a Steve Jobs doc?
I keep an actual ram in my PC, his name is Spock
I'm a new console
Your face is birth control
I troll Brony sites, you look like an actual troll
I'm fluent in C++, see, you just suck
Can your iPhone autocorrect your dumb haircut?

Hold on a second, let me tweet this infographic I made
That illustrates the fact you'll never get to procreate
I just haven't met a woman of a high enough caliber
The only dates you have are on your G-G-Google Calendar

You're losing this battle, your foam sword won't help
In the future you'll randomly access this memory and crap yourself
Did I mention I built a dancing robot?
No one gives a Shatner about your skinny jeans
Do you even know what URL means?
You don't know what you're Tolkien about

You know
You are a classic example of the inverse ratio between the size of the mouth
And the size of the brain!