The Ladies Who Lunch

I'd like to propose a toast...

Here's to the ladies who lunch
Everybody laugh
Lounging in their caftans and planning a brunch
On their own behalf

Off to the gym
Then to a fitting
Claiming they're fat

And looking grim
Cause they've been sitting
Choosing a hat

Does anyone still wear a hat?
I'll drink to that

Here's to the girls who stay smart
Aren't they a gas?
Rushing to their classes in optical art
Wishing it would pass

Another long exhausting day
Another thousand dollars
A matinee, a Pinter play
Perhaps a piece of Mahler's

I'll drink to that
And one for Mahler

Here's to the girls who play wife
Aren't they too much?
Keeping house but clutching a copy of LIFE
Just to keep in touch

The ones who follow the rules
And meet themselves at the schools
Too busy to know that they're fools
Aren't they a gem?
I'll drink to them

Let's all drink to them

And here's to the girls who just watch
Aren't they the best?
When they get depressed it's a bottle of scotch
Plus a little jest

Another chance to disapprove
Another brilliant zinger
Another reason not to move
Another vodka stinger

I'll drink to that

So here's to the girls on the go
Everybody tries
Look into their eyes and you'll see what they know
Everybody dies

A toast to that invincible bunch
The dinosaurs surviving the crunch
Let's hear it for the ladies who lunch
Everybody rise!