The Most Offensive Song Ever

Howdy Ho!

The Virgin Mary was sleeping when Angel Gabriel appeared
He said, "You are to be the virgin mother" and Mary thought that was weird
(Mary said, "I'm not a virgin, I blew a guy last year")
But then, Gabriel said to Mary, "My child, have no fear"

("'Cause, you can suck all the dick you want) And still be a Virgin, Mary"
("You can suck all the dick you want) And still not be considered flawed"
("Although you went to town and sucked some semen down")
"You're still a virgin in the eyes of God!"

There was no room at the Inn when Mary and Joseph did arrive
They were so very tired, you see, (and Mary had to offer a bribe)
Since she had no money, how would she pay for a place to sleep?
Gabriel appeared to Mary and told her not to weep

("'Cause, you can suck all the dick you want) And still be a Virgin, Mary"
("You can suck all the dick you want) And still be the mother of Christ"
"If there's no room at the inn, then it's not considered a sin"
("To suck some dick to get a room for the night") That's right

Then, three wise men did appear, bearing gifts of myrrh and such
They said that they had followed a star and missed a woman's touch
(Mary thought she might pleasure them, but could not take them to bed)
But, again, Gabriel appeared to her and this is what he said

("You can suck all the dick you want) And still be a Virgin, Mary"
("You can suck all the dick you want) Every one that hangs in the nation"
("Fellatio ain't no sin, go on and blow those Three Wise Men")
"And you'll still be a virgin ('cause there was no penetration!")

("You can suck all the dick you want) And still be a Virgin, Mary"
(The donkey and the ox and the lambs) And even the little drummer boy
Folks will remember your name quick (they'll say "Damn, that bitch could suck a dick!")
('Cause sucking dick) brings peace on Earth and joy

('Cause sucking dick) brings peace on Earth and joy
Mary, Mary suck that dick