Funky Cold Medina (Re-Recorded / Remastered)

Cold coolin' at a bar, and I'm lookin' for some action
Feel like Mike Jagger said, I can't get no satisfaction
The girls are all around, but none of them wanna get with me
My threads are fresh and I'm lookin' def', yo, what's up with L-O-C?

The girls is all jockin' at the other end of the bar
Havin' drinks with some no name chump
When they know that I'm the star
So I got up and strolled over to the other side of the cantina
I asked the guy, "Why you so fly?" he said, "Funky Cold Medina"
You know I'm saying
Funky Cold Medina

This brother told me a secret on how to get more chicks
Put a little Medina in your glass, and the girls'll come real quick
It's better than any alcohol or aphrodisiac
A couple of sips of this love potion, and she'll be on your lap

So I gave some to my dog when he began to beg
Then he licked his bowl and he looked at me
And did the wild thing on my leg
He used to scratch and bite me, before he was much, much meaner
But now all the poodles run to my house for the Funky Cold Medina

Oh, my goodness gracious, break it down for 'em
Uh-huh, Funky Cold Medina

I went up to this girl, she said, "Hi, my name is Sheena"
I thought she'd be good to go with a little Funky Cold Medina
She said, "I'd like a drink," I said, "Ehm, okay, I'll go get it"
Then a couple sips she cold licked her lips
And I knew that she was with it

So I took her to my crib, and everything went well as planned
But when she got undressed, it was a big old mess, Sheena was a man
So I threw him out, I don't mess around with no Oscar Meyer wiener
You must be sure that your girl is pure for the Funky Cold Medina

You know what I'msaying, y'all? Ain't no plans with a man
Oh, yeah, Funky Cold Medina
Oh, it's too late, break it down

Back in the saddle, lookin' for a little affection
I took a shot as a contestant on, the Love Connection
The audience voted, and you know they picked a winner
I took my date to the Hilton for a Medina and some dinner

We had a few drinks, I'm thinkin' soon what I'll be gettin'
Instead she started talkin' 'bout plans for our weddin'
I said, "Wait, slow down, love, not so fast says, I'll be seein' ya"
That's why I found you don't play around with the Funky Cold Medina

Funky Cold Medina