I Know It's Today

Settle in girls, it's story time!

There's a princess in a tower, oh, my gosh, that's just like me
Poor Rapunzel needs a haircut, but the witch won't set her free
She passes time by singing like someone else I know
As years go by, she sits and waits, as years go by? Uh-oh

A torturous existence, I don't remember this part
She wishes she were dead? Skip ahead, skip ahead
But in the end, Rapunzel finds a millionaire
The prince is good at climbing and braiding golden hair

So I know, he'll appear
'Cause there are rules and there are strictures
I believe the story books I read by candlelight
My white knight and his steed
Will look just like these pictures
It won't be long now, I guarantee
Day number 23
I know it's today, I know it's today

Oh, here's a good one
It's a classic

There's a princess in a coma, glad it's her instead of me
Pretty maiden in a glass box, how I wonder, does she pee?
Blah, blah, blah, blah, poison apple, boring, boring evil queen
Filler, filler, been there, read that, seven shorties on the scene

Skip ahead, skip ahead
But in the end, the princess
Wakes up with a start
The prince is good at kissing
And melting Snow White's heart

So I know, he'll appear
And his armor will be blinding
As shining as his perfect teeth and manly hose
He'll propose on one knee
And our prenup will be binding
About time we set a wedding date
Day number 958
I know it's today, he'll show up today

There's a princess, any princess, take your pick, they're all like me
Not exactly, I'm still waiting, they're out living happily
Ever after, better get here, I want love in seconds flat
No one needs these middle bits, oops, did I do that?

Cut the villains, cut the vamping, cut this fairytale
Cut the peril and the pitfalls, cut the puppet and the whale
Cut the monsters, cut the curses, keep the intro, cut the verses
And the waiting, the waiting, the waiting, the waiting, the waiting!

But I know, he'll appear, though I seem a bit bipolar
And I'm a vandal now as well, hope he won't mind
I'm a find, I'm a catch, and a very gifted bowler
It won't be long now, I guarantee, day number-

Are you there, God?
It's me, Fiona
It's me, Fiona

Now I know, he'll appear
'Cause there are rules and there are strictures
I believe the story books I read by candlelight
My white knight, my knight and his steed
Will look just like these pictures
It won't be long now, I guarantee
Day number 23
Day number 958
Day number 8423

I know it's today, ooh
(I know it's today, I know it's today, ooh)
I know it's today, ooh
(I know it's today, I know it's today, ooh)
I know it's today, I know it's today!