The Happiest Home In These Hills

I'll cook you cake and gingerbread, bring you tea in bed, on a tray
We'll slave while you go fishin', you'll get permission to run and play
These tears oughta show you I care, come back, by crackin' we"ll share the happiest home in these hills, in these hills
Gonna stag him, gag him, drag him through town, put his head in the river, let the pup drown
Trap him, strap him, wrap him in a sack, yeah
Tie him screamin' to a railroad track
We'll have you sing in chapel, you'll be the apple of Mama's eye
I'll tend to all you sewing, and do your mowing, so just rely on me
Dang, we know you're out there, it's late!
We're waiting to share the happiest home in these hills, in these hills
Gonna paw him, saw him in half, when he cries out for mercy, we'll just laugh
Beat him, heat him, eat him for desert, yeah
Roast him gently so the flames won't hurt, yeah
Spread out!
You'll swim, and you'll go campin', you'll be a champ in your own backyard
Our love is overflowin', it keeps on goin'
We'll sleep good knowin' you're hooooooome, in these hills
We're gonna string him from a tree
In these hills
We're gonna sting him like a bee
In these hills
We're gonna spill him on his head
In these hills
We're gonna fill him full of lead
In these hills
In these hills
In these hills
In these hills
In these hills