Somewhere That's Green

I know Seymour's the greatest
But I'm dating a semi-sadist
So I got a black eye and my arm's in a cast

Still, that Seymour's a cutie (hahaha)
Well, if not, he's got inner beauty
And I dream of a place where we could be together at last

And what kind of place is that, honey, an emergency room?

Oh no, it's just a daydream of mine
A little development I dream of, just off the interstate
Not fancy, like Levittown
Just a little street in a little suburb
Far, far from urban Skid Row

The sweetest, greenest place
Where everybody has the same little lawn out front
And the same little flagstone patio out back
All the houses are so neat and pretty
As they all look just alike

Oh, I dream about it all the time
Just me and the toaster
And a sweet little guy, like Seymour

A matchbox of our own
A fence of real chain link
A grill out on the patio
Disposal in the sink
A washer and a dryer and an ironing machine
In a tract house that we share
Somewhere that's green

He rakes and trims the grass
He loves to mow and weed
I cook like Betty Crocker
And I look like Donna Reed
There's plastic on the furniture
To keep it neat and clean
In the Pine-Sol scented air
Somewhere that's green

Between our frozen dinner
And our bedtime, 9:15
We snuggle watching Lucy
On our big, enormous 12-inch screen

I'm his December Bride
He's father, he knows best
Our kids watch Howdy Doody
As the sun sets in the west
A picture out of Better Homes and Gardens magazine
Far from Skid Row
I dream we'll go
Somewhere that's green