Macavity: The Mystery Cat

Macavity's a mystery cat
He's called the Hidden Paw
For he's the master criminal
Who can defy the law

He's the bafflement of Scotland Yard
The Flying Squad's despair
And when you reach the scene of crime
Macavity's not there

Macavity, Macavity
There's no one like Macavity
He's broken every human law
He breaks the law of gravity

His powers of levitation
Would make a fakir stare
And when you reach the scene of crime
Macavity's not there

You may seek him in the basement
You may look up in the air
But I'll tell you once and once again
Macavity's not there

Macavity's a ginger cat
He's very tall and thin
You would know him if you saw him
For his eyes are sunken in

His brow is deeply lined in thought
His head is highly domed
His coat is dusty from neglect
His whiskers are uncombed

He sways his head from side to side
With movements like a snake
And when you think he's half asleep
He's always wide awake

Macavity, Macavity
There's no one like Macavity
Oh, he's a fiend in feline shape
A monster of depravity

You may meet him in a by street
You may see him in the square
But when a crime's discovered then
Macavity's not there

He's outwardly respectable
I know he cheats at cards
And his footprints are not found
In any files of Scotland Yard's

And when the larder's looted
Or the jewel case is rifled
Or when the milk is missing
Or another peke's been stifled

Or the greenhouse glass is broken
And the trellis past repair
There's the wonder of the thing
Macavity's not there

Macavity, Macavity
There's no one like Macavity
There never was a cat
Of such deceitfulness and suavity

He always has an alibi
And one or two to spare
Whatever time the deed took place
Macavity wasn't there!

And they say that all the cats
Whose wicked deeds are widely known
I might mention Mungojerrie
Rumpelteazer, Griddlebone

Are nothing more than agents
For the cat who all the time
Just controls the operations
The Napoleon of Crime!

Macavity, Macavity
There's no one like Macavity
He's a fiend in feline shape
A monster of depravity

You may meet him in a by street
You may see him in the square
But when a crime's discovered then
Macavity's not there