The Money Song

Down in Washington DC
Men are workin' busily
In a place they call the mint
They make coins and also print
Very excellent engraving
Which the rest of us keep saving
Dressed if up in black and green
It's the darndest stuff you've ever seen

If you got it, you don't need it
If you need it, you don't got it
You don't get it, shame on you
Funny, funny, funny what money can do

Them that have it get more of it
Less they need it, more they love it
And it sticks to them like glue
Funny, funny, funny what money can do

Ask the rich man, he'll confess
Money can't buy happiness
Ask the poor man, he don't doubt
That he'd rather be mis'rable with than without

If you spend it, please be wiser
If you save it, you're a miser
You don't wan' it, you're cuckoo
Funny, funny, funny what money can do

La-la-la-lu-lu, a nickel or a dime or penny
La-la-la-lu-lu, is better than not havin' any
La-la-la-lu-lu, a half a dollar or a quarter
La-la-la-lu-lu, makes people do a lot of things they hadn't ever
Oughta do

If you're lucky and you make it
You're so frightened who might take it
Stomach troubles come to you
Funny, funny, funny what money can do

If you got it, you got trouble
If you haven't, trouble's double
If you grab it, jail for you
Funny, funny, funny what money can do

Birds don't got it, still they sing
Eating worms upon the wing
Ideal life some folks affirm
So OK you're a bird but suppose you're a worm

It's a bad thing, oh yes, very
Full of germs, unsanitary
Will we have some, oh thank you
Funny, funny, funny what money can do

Funny, funny, funny what money can do