Finishing School Was The Finish Of Me

Oh, why did pappy have to strike it rich,
when he struck oil in the backyard ditch?
And why did mammy have to put on airs
and give up grits for chocolate eclairs?
I was happy being just plain Bess, why was ma so cruel?
Now I'm fancy pants, in a fancy dress at a fancy ultra-school.
I left the farm to get to town, my family said I'd get renown.
But they brung me up to bring me down,
finishing school was the finish of me.
The snooty girls met me with sneers,
they said my grammar hurt their ears.
But shucks, my gramma's been dead for
years, finishing school was the finish of me.
I wrecked the class in chemistry, the flames began to flicker.
Well, they thought that I made TNT, but twer' only pa's corn licker!
The girls went out to get a snack, and brung the teacher apples back.
While I just brung her applejack,
finishing school was the finish of me.
The rules had me out on a limb, I never seemed to get 'em.
They told me to get dressed for gym, but shucks I'd never met him!
I writ my pa, my grades ain't high,
I can't get Shakespeare though I'd tried.
And pa writ back, '
Get some other guy!' Finishing school was the finish of me!