The Ides

I'm questioning what's been testing me
Might be my best years have bested me
And what most call prime
For me, was decline
And I'm just now recovering
I fell apart during the middle of the month
On the fifteenth day my roots came up
And so the ides in spring
Caused themselves to cling
To every chamber left beating
Even in the depths of our bones
We can feel effects of the ides we've faced alone
Through long nights and changing tides we wonder If we're even worth healing now
And so I
I grit my teeth with the solstice grind
Cling like a leaf to a drying vine
And hope for the time
That I shake the ides and be up and on with it
I can hear the voice as it's calling out
From the waking hours in the darkness now
And I can't be sure, but outside my door I think I hear Martha crying
Even in the depths of our bones
We can feel effects of the ides we face alone
Through long nights and changing tides we wonder If we're even worth healing now
Even if Christ's hand touched us all
Wouldn't we remain to be creatures of the fall?
Insomuch that he was touched
Lazarus got old and died and he's buried now