Every Man I Love Is Either Married,Gay,or Dead

I saw that little white circle
Where the ring went on his hand.
But against my better judgment
I fell for a married man.

He swore that he would leave her
And he'd start a brand new life,
But in the end surprise, surprise,
He left me for his wife.

Every man I love is either married, gay, or dead.
I can't find a single man to share my double bed.
There's a ring on their finger or they're light on their feet
Or there's a tombstone on their head.
Every man I love is either married, gay, or dead.

Then I met the sweetest guy
He was too good to be true.
He loved to do all those things
Men usually hate to do.

When he took me to that bar
I thought we'd find romance.
But when I saw Tom, Dick, and Harry
I knew I didn't stand a chance.

Every man I love is either married, gay, or dead.
I can't find a single man to share my double bed.
There's a ring on their finger or they're light on their feet
Or there's a tombstone on their head.
Every man I love is either married, gay, or dead.

Spoken: Could this song possibly have a happy ending?

Well I finally met the perfect man,
Good lookin', single, and straight.
When we were making love,
I thought, "Good things come to those who wait."

But then right in the middle of 'you know what',
He gasped his final breath.
Well what a shame, he'll never know
I loved that man to death!

Every man I love is either married, gay, or dead.
I can't find a single man to share my double bed.
There's a ring on their finger or they're light on their feet
Or there's a tombstone on their head.
Every man I love is either married, gay, or dead.
Every man I love is either married, gay, or dead.