Grandma Got Ran Over By a Reindeer

Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house, Christmas Eve
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe

She'd been drinking too much eggnog
And we'd begged her not to go
But she'd forgot her medication
And she staggered out the door into the snow

When we found her Christmas morning
At the scene of the attack
She had hoof prints on her forehead
And incriminating Claus marks on her back

Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house, Christmas Eve
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe

Now we're all so proud of Grandpa
He's been taking this so well
See him in there watching football
Drinking beer and playing cards with cousin Belle

It's not Christmas without Grandma
All the family's dressed in black
And we just can't help but wonder
Should we open up her gifts or send them back?

Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house, Christmas Eve
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe

Now the goose is on the table
And the pudding made of fig, aah
And a blue and silver candle
That would just have matched the hair in Grandma's wig

I've warned all my friends and neighbors
"Better watch out for yourselves"
They should never give a license
To a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves

Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house, Christmas Eve
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe

Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house, Christmas Eve
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe

Merry Christmas