The Twelve Gifts of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
A Japanese transistor radio
On the second day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Green polka-dot pajamas
And a Japanese transistor radio
It's a Nakashuma
On the third day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
A calendar book with the name of my insurance man
Green polka-dot pajamas
And a Japanese transistor radio
It's the Mark IV model
That's the one that's discontinued
On the fourth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
A simulated alligator wallet
A calendar book with the name of my insurance man
Green polka-dot pajamas
And a Japanese transistor radio
And it comes in a leatherette case with holes in it
So you can listen right through the case
On the fifth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
A statue of a lady with a clock
Where her stomach ought to be
A simulated alligator wallet
A calendar book with the name of my insurance man
Green polka-dot pajamas
And a Japanese transistor radio
And it has a wire with a thing on one end
That you can stick in your ear
And a thing on the other end
That you can't stick anywhere, because it's bent
On the sixth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
A hammered aluminum nutcracker
And all that other stuff
And a Japanese transistor radio
On the seventh day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
A pink satin pillow that says "San Diego"
With fringe all around it
And all that other stuff
And a Japanese transistor radio
On the eighth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
An indoor plastic birdbath
All that other stuff
And a Japanese transistor radio
On the ninth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
A pair of teakwood shower clogs
And a Japanese transistor radio
On the tenth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
A chromium combination manicure scissors and cigarette lighter
And a Japanese transistor radio
On the eleventh day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
An automatic vegetable slicer that works when you see it on television
But not when you get it home
And a Japanese transistor radio
On the twelfth day of Christmas
Although it may seem strange
On the twelfth day of Christmas
I'm going to exchange
An automatic vegetable slicer that works when you see it on television
But not when you get it home
Chromium combination manicure scissors and cigarette lighter
Pair of teakwood shower clogs
Indoor plastic birdbath
Pink satin pillow that says "San Diego"
With fringe all around it
Hammered aluminum nutcracker
Statue of a lady with a clock
Where her stomach ought to be
Simulated alligator wallet
Calendar book with the name of my insurance man
Green polka-dot pajamas
And a Japanese transistor radio
Merry Christmas everybody!