A New Body and Soul

My heart was misty-hued and lonely / from missing you
Without you near-around me / man, was I blue!
My eyes would show what I could not say / while you were away
Even so, my tears would flow in endless, hopeless replay
Love was always only hearsay. Yet,

I'd drift around town with downcast dreams in my pockets
Stumbling every step
Trying to motion my frozen feelings in thick-set flop sweats
My mind would echo with treacherous, senseless empty
My head was inept
Time was a pathway filled with regret.

Life was just a trial of wanting / things that are true now
Now it's something I can say aloud -
Now that I know we two can make life anew
& come shining through

I'll make us a space / inasmuch as love can do
A place safe from thunders / made by fearlessness and wonders
Now that love has come / now that I have found you

I watch the sun rise on you / and on the hour you wake
Not knowing waking from dreaming or remembering
Songs I sing you then / I hope you will hear
If ever you feel fear or coming to an end.

Love is the only thing to balance fearing
Loving the deepest depths appearing.

Waiting too long for a sign you would come was what
nearly killed the spirit in the house within me
and when you appeared you brought an answer after praying
like a sailor sighting landfall on horizons of green
or sunrise / after endless nights of burning scenes
or having sense be restored to me.

Finally the music has a reason to be singing.

Hearing voices / calling out of every corner of the city
Glittering pretty / but it seemed like empty pity here
Chasing them / feeling a stinging
searching to find a lasting thing
but always / following whatever was flashing
people thought I had the mentality of a shambles
or a house deserted

I remember stories of Orpheus and his love ruinous / Euridice
Spirited away / on their wedding day
bitten by a snake upon the way / and Euridice had to stay
in under-day - SAD!

Just as bad / Orphie had / to stay up and lay up with us here / but without her.
Some Stun!
Can you just imagine / living without it /
love that was destined to perfect / everything that was imperfect
but Orpheus went & played songs for the man

jamming a plan
sounding a span
taking a stand
burning in sand
fanning the legend of the man who playing music
made the sun to stand
and sad though the ending was / I can feel it 'cause
I would do the same for you, 'Cause

Knowing what we live is part of history
A myst'ry philosophic asked a thousand years ago
Living after living spent in killing or in giving or unwilling
Under-fulfilling - a cosmic freak show
And in all that Shiva takes in closing one massive eye
Darkening sight and sky
Hundreds of lifetimes we must try / hoping to break the cycle
And enter heaven's eye
But heaven's here / it comes clear
When loving is living & understanding giving / power

Wonder when we'll get together or if life's a broken song
Just because we're so headstrong
And we'll never get along /
It seems like the throng meanders along
But just as sad as just as sappy just as angry just as scared as sad
You'd think we'd be happy just to be straight-standing
On the earth every new date
Just to breathe in the air and to love every day away
We're given a life to try all our breath to mend the tears over the world where it is clear the world is broken.
But still the suffering and terrors go on
& every time I think we may be coming to the brink / the glue on
something pushes us / and down we fall to shatter in pieces

And that's why our teachers teach "The Itsy Bitsy Spider"
to the smallest ones:
We need a fight song to keep us moving along
I should've sung it when thinking you gone.
You weren't lost / you were coming
I'll teach you / I hope to
Give you love that shows you wonders that only love can show
And more than you'll ever know / I do love you so.
You have got a light living in you / in with and through you
& That's what a father's love should teach you.

My life a heaven you are making / you have got me in the bag
You know I'm yours for taking home or for forsaking
I'll . . . give my life up to make sure / you're lacking nothing

That's the gist of it.
You're the north, south, west and Eden east of it all
(I'm least of it all)

How come was I / Pie in the sky / more do or die /
sighing a cry / never-a-life: / high?

I hope someday you will see just what I mean
To take on / such a class / ic and write / something mass /
- ive ithout / seeming spastic when I sing the song
Or seem freaky
When I mean only to take what could sound so old-creaky
And make a marvel / as a gift to you
And, in such a small way /
Pay tribute to a man whose lavish gift gave birth to such melodies as this one
(& that was Mister Dexter Gordon)

and so my baby then perhaps (then) you will realize
I have found loving
With

YOU!