Don't Be Upset

I took my darling out to the aquarium
Sea creatures stared at us and we stared back at them
My baby freaked when she peeked at that 8-legged blob with a beak
She was too scared to speak

I said don't be upset it's only an octopus
Don't bother it and I'm sure it won't bother us
Please, don't be upset, my darling
Please, don't get upset

My baby came riding to meet me one time
On the crowded last car of the downtown-bound 9
She was brave but she caved
When the train was delayed
It was just the last straw in her hard busy day

I said don't get upset 'cause it's not a catastrophe
Nothing will happen and soon you'll be back with me
Please, don't be upset, my darling
Please, don't be upset

My gal's got a headache, her ankle is hurting too
The boots she bought gave her a rash and her wisdom tooth
Is coming in and it's damp out and she's having cramps
And she's so mad at me 'cause I didn't shave

I said don't be upset, I know you're feeling sensitive
I'll try to be kinder and be more attentive
Please, don't be upset, my darling
Please, don't get upset

Darling, I said, I'm gonna be 27 soon
And I've only got rejection letters and a sense of impending doom
And I think it's too late for me
All the comic book companies hate me
And I try but it's always the same
I guess my art is just lame
And it's strange but still somehow I'm
Always not suiting their needs at this time
And she said

Don't be upset
You know that you're wonderful
Just keep on trying

And actually what she really said was

All you ever wanna talk about is yourself
And your comic books and your album and your tour
And every time I see your friends
They just ask me where you are again and it hurts
It makes me feel like dirt
I'm just gonna write where you are on my shirt

And I said don't be upset, don't be in a bad mood
Let's just go to a show and hang out and feel good
Come on, please, don't be upset, my darling
Please don't be upset
I'll do anything baby, just don't be upset