Aladdin: The Legend of the Lamp

Ah, salaam
and good evening to you, worthy friend.
Please, please, come closer.
Ah, too close, a little too close.
There.
Welcome to Agrabah,
city of mystery, of enchantment.
And the finest merchandise this side of the River Jordan, on sale today.
Come on down.
HAHAHAHA
Look at this,
Combination hookah and coffeemaker,
also makes Julienne fries.
It will not break, it will not-
it broke.
Ohh, look at this,
I have never seen one of these intact before.
This is the famous dead sea Tupperware.
Listen, ah, still good.
HAHAHAHA
Wait, don't go!
I can see that you're only interested in
the exceptionally rare.
I think, then, you would be most
rewarded to consider this.
Do not be fooled by its commonplace apperance.
Like so many things, it is not what is outside,
but what is inside that counts.
This is no ordinary lamp!
It once changed the course of a young man's life.
A young man who like this lamp was more than
what he seemed: a diamond in the rough.