Luckiest Loser

Man you're really one heck of a guy,
Best friends since junior high.
You showed me Playboy for the very first time, that was rad.
We saw Bon Jovi, we sat in the front row,
I pierced your ear right before the show.
We stole your brother's beer and he didn't know oo-a-oh

[Chorus]
Woah
Your new girlfriend is a son of a gun,
Did you fall in love or did you just wanna get some?
That girl is crazy she's a loco-motion
I know you know she used to be my girl.
You better run for cover 'cause she's ticking like a time bomb
And did I mention that you both suck dot com.

And now you're stuck with her,
Like Mellencamp is stuck with Cougar
I guess that make me the luckiest loser

I met her at a keger passed out on the yard,
Getting in her pants wasn't really that hard.
6 months later she crashed my car, that was rad.
She's got a glow from her spray-on tan
Marilyn Manson is her favorite band.
I really think she might worship Satan, not a fan

[Chorus]
Woah
Your new girlfriend is a son of a gun,
Did you fall in love or did you just wanna get some?
That girl is crazy she's a loco-motion
I know you know she used to be my girl.
You should run for cover 'cause she's ticking like a time bomb
And did I mention that you both suck dot com.

And now she's stuck with you,
Like a fat guy with a bad tattoo,
Like celebrity golf with Alice Cooper.
Guess that makes me the luckiest loser

Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, you deserve each other
I'll leave the when you take her home to meet your mother.
She was a super star, backseat of my car
Those days are over now the night goes on, yeah

[Spoken]
Your new girlfriend is a son of a gun,
Did you fall in love or did you just wanna get some?

That girl is crazy she's a loco-motion
I know you know she used to be my girl.
You'd better run for cover 'cause she's ticking like a time bomb
And did I mention that you both suck dot com.

Now you're stuck with her like Mellencamp is stuck with Cougar
Like number 2 on a pooper scooper
I guess that makes me the luckiest loser
(That girl is crazy she's a loco-motion)
Luckiest loser
(I know you know she used to be my girl)
Luckiest loser
(You'd better run for cover 'cause seh's ticking like a time bomb)
Luckiest loser
(And did I mention that you both suck...)