Baptist Fashion Show (Live)

Those catty church bitches give me the blues
And, Lord! Look at these shoes!
And you know
Church people were all about the shoes
(Mama says you gotta go
To the Baptist fashion show)

Silk tie, shiny purses, fancy hats
And jewels
(Mama says you gotta go
Jesus gonna save your soul)
And that Christian catwalk
Was real unforgiving
(Mama says you gotta go
But you didn't wanna go)
To anyone who couldn't fit in for a living
(Mama says you gotta go
To the Baptist fashion show)

Holy war on Sunday morning
It was war on Sunday morning

Now the church on Adams Boulevard is usually a bore
The ladies wave fans and the old men snore
The kids cut up on cue in the very back pew
And the Holy Ghost ain't been here
Since 1972
They got real estate
College funds
Jobs with benefits
Home owners
Debutantes
This place is as phony as it gets

Look! Everybody sharp
Ain't not one head nappy
But it's been a long time since this church got happy
With their judgmental eyes
See, they've all just realized
Fourteen years old and still ain't been baptized!

Now just as he thought
This'll be a nightmare come true
His conviction turned to ice
In that chilly church pew
His conviction turned to ice
In that chilly church pew
Jesus'll make it back here before I do

He saw the brown-skinned ladies in their oversize crowns
And the jet-black deacons
With those "don't-you-do-that" frowns
And those high-yellow girls in skin-tight gowns
A collection of verbs
Disguised as nouns

And every Sunday she pushed him
But she never wanted to go
Every Sunday he listened
But he didn't want to know

It's too bad they never talked about
The shared truth that dwelled below
Who could handle the pressure
Of this Baptist fashion show?