Ain't Drinkin' Beer No More

I've had a thing for the hop, think it might have to stop
Ain't drinkin' beer no more
Who knew the work of monks could lead to so many drunks
Ain't drinkin' beer no more
Its time I turn this boat around
Keep gaining pound after pound
I'm going back to shore
Ain't drinkin' beer no more

The woman I call my queen is lately a little bit mean
Ain't drinkin' beer no more
She used to call me "My Sweet," now she just says " Hey... Meat..."
Ain't drinkin' beer no more
It might have been alright in my youth
But she's telling me the bitter truth
It's time I closed that door
Ain't drinkin' beer no more

I'll do what's best for me
And turn to herbal tea
Say goodbye to that fuzzy glow (Oh, no!)
Go to church on Sunday
Start walking right on Monday

I used to feel like a fighter, walk a whole lot lighter
Ain't drinkin' beer no more
Pass on the meat and three, eat greens and fruit of the sea
Ain't drinkin' beer no more
I used to dress myself in style
Could run a seven minute mile
Now I've become a bore
Ain't drinkin' beer no more

I'm driving past the store
Ain't drinkin' beer no more

...that's just about enough of that...
...maybe one for the road...