Stuff the Jubilee

I'm not an anarchist
But I know a man who is
He composed this masterpiece
About the nouveau stinking riche
Of cabbages and future kings
And marriage guidance councelings
Of geriatrics losing hope
In Stephen Patrick's overcoat

Excuse my rudery
But stuff the juoblee!

It's the last tango at the palace
Christopher goes down on Alice
A make-up girl from Selfridges
Unaccustomed to such privileges

Of His Majesty's secret services
The kind of secret services
Usually confined to circuses

Excuse my rudery

But stuff the jubilee!
Princess A to Princess Bea
And all their work for charity
Every royal lion' s head
On every boiled and frying egg
And every sodding polo team
In Hello! bloody magazine

And if you feel this story lacks
The royal seal on candle wax
Reel to reels of scuzzy facts
Of dodgy deal and income tax
String me up from Traitor's Gate
Stick my head upon a stake
And if you feel this story sucks
That's probably because I made it up
I didn' t really hitch a lift
To Windsor Castle bearing gifts
And I can prove it wasn' t me
I was on a stage in Germany
I've always loved the Oueenie Mum
Her daughters and her daughter' s sons
From Princess A to Princess Bea
And all the Royal Family

Stuff the jubilee!