Lawn Full of Marigolds

I moved myself west to find a philosophy,
To learn my geography at best.
Where the mountains are cold,
The rain drops it's tears, I'm told.
Amongst the ashes a heart of gold, they say.
I guess it's best to imagine it that way.

So I bought me a book to teach me the ways of god,
To open my tarnished heart from it.
Started praisin' the lord & talkin' in tongues & code;
I did repairs on that broken road back home.
I guess it's better than being alone.

And now to death: I'm dying.
To love: I'm trying.
To god: I'm lying again.
And to my ma: I've failed you.
To my pa: I blamed you.
And to god: I have shamed you again.

So I moved myself out, I pictured a better home-
A lawn full of marigolds, I guess.
I headed back east, started thinking my hope away,
Depression was the one to stay since then.
Now, I take pills to push it from my head.
Yes, I take pills to push it from my head.

And now to death: I'm dying.
To love: I'm trying.
To god: I'm lying again.
And to my ma: I've failed you.
To my pa: I blamed you.
And to god: I have shamed you again.
To god: I have shamed you again.
To god: I have shamed you again.
Again.