Redneck Stomp

If you've ever been on television more than 5 times
describing what the tornadoes sounded like...
You might be a redneck.
If you've ever cut your grass and found a car...
you might be a redneck.
If your dad walks you to school because your in the same grade...
you might be a redneck.
If you've ever been too drunk to fish...

If somebody asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle.

If every day somebody comes to your house mistakenly thinking your having a
yard sale.

If you've ever had to haul a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend
your sister's honor.
You might be a redneck.
If your dog and your wallet are both on a chain...
you might be a redneck.

They always make fun of the way I talk, I keep telling them I said your gonna be
real surprised when you get into the habit in St. Petersburg and say,
"Y'all get into the truck, we goin up to the big house."

If you've ever financed a tattoo...

If you've ever made change in the offering plate...
you might be a redneck.

we have words in the south they don't have in other parts of the country.
Now, you come to the south, we have words like... yu'nt to.
We goin to the mall, yu'nt to?
What letter does that start with, does anybody know?
I like this word alot... aight.
That's a word in Texas... aight.
Round lunch time every day, you'll hear somebody say,
"hey jeet yet, naw, dju? Yu'nt to? Aight."

If you go to the family reunion to meet women...

If you smoked during your wedding...
you might be a redneck.
And last but not least
if you see a sign that says say no to crack,
and it reminds you to pull your jeans up...
you might be a redneck.