Something Missing

I wish I knew what was wrong with me
I rub my eyes but I still can't see
I swear my empathy gets the best of me

I need emotion or devotion
To keep these thoughts at bay
And I'm trying every single day
Not to feel this way

I feel I'm fearing that which I cannot control
That fleating feeling will forever come and go
On its own

Give me a pillar so I can stand up straight
Without falling down, to that hardened ground
Where I've spent most of my days

Most days I just don't say much
I'd talk to myself if I felt I was worth convincing
Its like my words have something missing

Like conviction, or motivation
I have so much to say
But without substance
Is it all in vain?

I feel I'm fearing that which I cannot control
That fleeting feeling will forever come and go
On its own

Give me a pillar so I can stand up straight
Without falling down to that hardened ground
Where I've spent most of my days
I need a pillow so I can rest my head
My body needs that restless sleep
To feel in control instead

I'm sitting in a silver steel capsule
100 miles per hour, buried under ground
It's fitting, what I've found in these fractals
Nothing's in my power, I'm neither lost nor found

And so we study
We poke and prod, and try to play God
Yet the higher we build our buildings,
The further we seem from heaven.

I've bared my feet to many streets
In hopes of rooting myself down deep
I've waited in the pouring rain
I saw my own colors change.