Redneck 12 Days of Christmas

Somebody done been to the wal*mart
Man this is the stuff I got for christmas
You cleaned up, what you get?

Five flanel shirts
Four big mud tires
Three shot gun shells
Two huntin' dogs
And some parts to a Mustange G.T

You fool! You got jipped! thar's twelve days of Christmas!
I know that look over there in the corner
Thats yours too?
Yeah

Twelve pack a bud
Elevin wrastlin' tickets
Ten acopenhagen
Nine years probation
Eight table dancers
Seven packs of redman
Six cans of spam
Five flanel shirts
Four big mud tires
Three shot gun shells
Two huntin' dogs
And some parts to a Mustange G.T

Man these aint normal Christmas presents!
Naw they redneck gifts
Redneck gifts?
Yeah, like when you buy your wife earrings that double as fishen luers, or if you can burp the entire chorus of jingle bells, or if you think the nutcracker is something you did off the high dive, or if you've ever miss spelled anything in christmas lights, or if you leave cold beer and pickeled eggs for santa clause.
Whats wrong with that?
I didnt say anything was wrong with it, its hard to beat

Twelve pack a bud
Elevin wrastlin' tickets
Ten acopenhagen
Nine years probation
Eight table dancers
Seven packs of redman
Six cans of spam
Five flanel shirts
Four big mud tires
Three shot gun shells
Two huntin' dogs
And some parts to a Mustange G.T

Well you know you cant consider it a Christmas unless you go down to the penitenturary and visit your momma.
You're not listenin' to me get the car key out of your ear, that where the nine years probation comes in. im a do it for you again, now listen

Twelve pack a bud
Elevin wrastlin' tickets
Ten acopenhagen
Nine years probation
Eight table dancers
Seven packs of redman
Six cans of spam
Five flanel shirts
Four big mud tires
Three shot gun shells
Two huntin' dogs
And some parts to a Mustange G.T

Are you cryin'?
naw just my allergies
Happy Holidays everybody