Four Years Old

Cause there is something I should let you know
It's my birthday and I'm four years old

Let's start a chart
Let's have a sing-a-long
If you don't feel it then you must have been drinking wrong
What day is it? Is it Saturday?
It doesn't matter because to me it's St.Patrick's Day
I'm a play darts and I don't even like darts
I be a very small piece on that pie chart
If I were at home I'd be in no less danger
Drunk on the internet typing all my thoughts to strangers
If I was in Philly I would say to Dennis
I'll serve Patty's in ping pong or table tennis
Frontin like you're as cold as me
I'll play Big Buck Hunter and Golden Tee
I'll order two shots of water in my tube socks
I got ten bucks worth of quarters for the juke box
I bet ya'll think I'm going to order 2pac
And that's racist
And that's tasteless
I want some motherfucking Clash because I'm wasted
I'll Rock The Casbah and sock your grandma
Now put your glasses up I command ya
Now put your glasses up

Whether a beer of fermented orange peelings
Either way it all starts with a warm feeling
I get talkative
The exact opposite of what I was walking in
That's when it all begins
I get the urge to bug girls I shouldn't call again
Am I going to talk to Earl, man it all depends
Did I eat dinner? Did I drink aqua?
Is it top shelf liquor? Is it cheap Vodka?
I'm a give you one rule that you gotsta follow
Never ever buy booze in a plastic bottle
I swear to god that you'll feel it in your ass tomorrow
Gonna need an Alka Seltzer and a large Ginger
Whether you carry cash, or you're a big card spender
Don't forget to tip your motherfucking bartender
And don't pinch her in the rear
Because then she'll disappear
What you do is go and whisper in her ear...

Hey you with the natural hair
I'm a stop the beat, look at and stare
You've got a passionate flair
And you look like your vagina could capture a bear
And I'm not intimidated
I'd come up and holla but I've got a situation
I don't really want to mention
Let's just say you've got me at full attention
How long can this rap last?
Hopefully long enough to get me back to half mast
Because if I go from this distance
The whole damn club is going to know my business
But I am coming over there
I gotta know if the under is as fly as the overwear
It doesn't matter if I get the cold shoulder there
Because if it's cold, I'm a play polar bear

I had a Fat Tire with Sahtyre
And then I rum pounded with Dumbfoundead
Had some grain alcohol with Alpha Boss
Then have a pour and sip with Lyraflip
Some shit with a gold emblem with Rogue-Venom
And then three shooters with Eve Super
Kept it dry though with Psycho
Then I had a whole bottle of Jack to my goddamn self