That's Your Funeral

He's a born Undertaker's mute
I can see him in his black silk suit
Followin' behind the funeral procession
With his features fixed in a suitable expression

There'll be horses with tall black plumes
To escort us to the family tombs
With the mourners in all corners
We've been taught to weep in tune

Then the coffin lined with satin
That's your funeral, that's your funeral
Large enough to wear your hat in
That's your funeral, that's your funeral

We're just here to glamorize you for that endless sleep
You might just as well look fetching
When you're six feet deep
At the wake, we'll drink a Toddy to the body beautiful
That's your funeral, not out funeral
That's your funeral

If you're fond of overeating
That's your funeral, that's your funeral
Starve yourself by under eating
That's your funeral, that's my funeral
Visualize the earth descending on you, clod by clod
You can't come back when you're buried
Underneath the sod

We will not reduce our prices
Keep your vices usual
That's your funeral, not out funeral
That's your funeral

I don't think this song is funny
That's your funeral, that's your funeral
Here's the boy, now where's the money?
That's your funeral, that's your funeral

We don't harbour thoughts macabre
There's no need to frown
In the end, we'll either burn you up or nail you down

We love coughs and wheezes and diseases called incurable
That's your funeral, no one else's funeral
That's your, that's your funeral