Auctioneer

There was a boy in Arkansas
who wouldn't listen to his ma
when she told hi-im he should go to school.
He'd sneak away in the afternoon,
take a little walk then pretty soon,
you'd find him at the local auction barn.

He'd stand and listen carefully.
Then pretty soon he began to see
how the auctioneer could talk so rapidly.
He said, "Oh my, it's do or die.
I've got to learn that auction cry.
Gotta make my mark and be an auctioneer."

25 dollar bid it now, 30 dollar 30
Will you gimmie 30 make it 30
Bid it on a 30 dollar will you gimmie 30.
Who'll bid a 30 dollar bid?
30 dollar bid it now, 35, will you gimmie 35
to make it 35 to bid at 35.
Who would a-bid it at a 35 dollar bid?

As time went on, he did his best
and all could see he didn't jest.
He practiced calling bids both night and day.
His pap would find him behind the barn
just working up an awful storm
as he tried to imitate the auctioneer.

Then his pap said, "Son, we just can't stand
to have a mediocre man
sellin' things at auction using our good name.
I'll send you off to auction school.
Then you'll be nobody's fool.
You can take your place among the best."

35 dollar bid it now a 40 dollar 40
Will you gimmie 40 make it 40
Bidin' it on a 40 dollar will you gimmie 40.
Who'll bid a 40 dollar bid?
40 dollar bid it now, 45, will you gimmie 45
to make it a 45 to bid it a 45.
Who would a-bid it at a 45 dollar bid?

So from that boy who went to school
there grew a man who played it cool
he came back home a full-fledged auctioneer.
then the people came from miles around
just to hear him make that rhythmic sound
that filled their hearts with such a happy cheer.

His fame spread out from shore to shore.
He had all he could do and more.
Had to buy a plane to get around.
Now he's the tops in all the land.
Now let's pause and give that man a hand.
He's the best of all the auctioneers.

45 dollar bid it now a 50 dollar 50
Will you gimmie 50 make it 50
Bidin' it on a 50 dollar will you gimmie 50.
Who'll bid a 50 dollar bid?
50 dollar bid it now, 55, will you gimmie 55
To make it a 55 to bid at 55.
Sold that hog for a 50 dollar bill.

Hey well all right sir, open the gate and letÃ'Â'em out and walk Ã'Â'em boys.
Here we come a lot number twenty-nine in. What are you gonna give for 'em
I have a 25 I ought-a get 35 and now a 50 make it 50 bid it along at 50
now 60 will ya' give me 60 now 75 and now 85 and now 95 a hundred and now 25
and now it's at 75 and a 2 and a 3 and a 4 and a 5 and a 6 now 7 now 800 dollars
and a buy 'em there.