The Sideburns Song

Sideburns
On the side of my face
As my head turns
You can see they're in the same place
On either sideburns
They can't be replaced
My insides burn
When I think of the days
Before my
My sideburns
Look at my sideburns
But don't touch my sideburns
Why would you do that?
My heart yearns
For my own sideburns
My side actually burns now
What is that?
What the hell man
Why does my side burn?
What the hell's going on?
My side burns
Does anybody have some aloe vera?
If you do bring it back stage
I'll pay you back
1985 from the womb I came out
On my birthday
The doctor said, "What you crying about?"
I said, "Is that a rhetorical question?
You know why I cried.
I have a serious lack of hair on the side
Of my head"
Little baby people don't have sideburns
They gotta grow them when they're older
But if you're little baby already has sideburns
That's awesome don't be concerned
Don't be concerned about the
Little bittle baby with the big big sideburns
You should not be concerned-acerned
About the little itty bitty baby with the big big sideburns
Your little baby gonna be a pimp
Your little baby gonna be a little baby pimp
You should probably discourage that kind of profession
Because it's illegal and your baby's too young
To be concerned about starting a business
But that's impressive if it's got the mindset
My sideburns
Look at my sideburns
Back on track
Talking talking 'bout sideburns
My sideburns
Look at my sideburns
L-l-l-l-loo-loo
Sidebur-ur-ur-urns
(Sideburns)