A Poultry Tale

Drake: IN OUR PATCH BEHIND THE FARMHOUSE
WHERE THE PACE OF LIFE IS SLOW
AND THE LILIES ON THE LAKE
ARE BROAD AND LUSH
WE'RE ALL LIVING HERE IN CLOVER
AND THE MATING SEASON'S OVER
SO THERE WON'T BE CAUSE
FOR ANYONE TO BLUSH
IN OUR LAND BOTH GREEN AND PLEASANT
EVERY BANTAM, DUCK AND PHEASANT
IF THEY HAD THEM,
WOULD BE WALKING ARM IN ARM
FOR OUR LIFE IS GOOD AND STEADY
TIL WE'RE PLUCKED AND OVEN READY
IT'S A POULTRY TALE
OF FOLK DOWN ON THE FARM

THERE'S A TURKY WITH A GOBBLE
(Turkey enters)
WATCH HIS WATTLE START TO WOBBLE
WHEN THE ROOSTER COCK-A-DOODLES
THE ALARM
WE'VE GOT PULLETS, WE'VE GOT CHICKENS
(Henrietta enters, doing her morning aerobics,
with Maureen, who brings gifts for the 'baby shower')
WE'VE GOT QUAIL,
AND WHAT THE di*kENS
IT'S A POULTRY TALE
OF FOLK DOWN ON THE FARM
(Ida enters)
WHAT A GORGEOUS VISION THIS IS
IT'S IDA, SHE'S MY MISSUS
SO FORGIVE ME IF I'M LAYING ON THE SMARM
SHE GOES IN FOR HEATED QUACKING
TO POINT OUT THE SKILLS I'M LACKING

All: IT'S A POULTRY TALE
OF FOLK DOWN ON THE FARM
COME ON DOWN AND DON'T BE STRANGERS
IN OUR DUCKYARD OF FREE-RANGERS
IT'S A POULTRY TALE
OF FOLK DOWN ON THE FARM

Maureen&Hen.: HERE WHERE WATERFOWL HAVE WADDLED
LITTLE CHICKS ARE MOLLY-CODDLED

Ida: FOR THE CAT WOULD LIKE TO DO THEM
GRRIEVOUS HARM
HE'S OUR ONLY SOURCE OF WORRY
FEATHERS RARELY GET TO FLURRY

All: IT'S A POULTRY TALE
OF FOLK DOWN ON THE FARM
(The Cat sticks his head up from behind a clump of cat tails)

Cat: HA! HOW THEY FLATTER THEMSELVES
I NEVER SHOW MUCH INT'REST
IN THIS GROUP
I ADMIT I'M QUITE A GLUTTON
BUT THIS FEATHERED FORM OF MUTTON
WOULDN'T EVEN MAKE A PALATABLE SOUP

BUT WHEN THOSE LITTLE DUCKINGS HACTH
THAT'S A FLAVOUR YOU WON'T MATCH
THEY'RE DELICIOUS
AND I JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH
AS A FELON WHO IS FELINE
YOU WILL SEE ME MAKE A BEELINE
FOR THOSE TENDER LITTLE
JUICY BALLS OF FLUFF
(The following cacphony of squaking prompts the Cat to hid himself again)

All: WAH, BURH, GOBBLE
IN OUR WATERFOWL REGATTA
THERE'S A MOORHEN FOND OF CHATTER
AND A MANDARIN WITH ORIENTAL CHARM
YOU'LL FIND EVERY GOOSE OR GANDER
(Grace enters)
Grace: THOUGHT OF COURSE I'M RATHER GRANDER

All: IT'S A POULTRY TALE
OF FOLK DOWN ON THE FARM
WE MAY STRIKE SOME CLASSIC POSES
AND WE ALL HAVE PARSON'S NOSES
BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN
YOU'LL HEAR A SINGLE PSALM
FOR ALL REVERENCE IS REJECTED
BLATANT FOWL PLAY IS SUSPECTED
IT'S A POULTRY TALE
OF FOLK DOWN ON THE FARM
COME ON DOWN AND DON'T BE STRANGERS
IN OUR DUCKYARD OF FREE-RANGERS
IT'S A POULTRY TALE
IT'S A POULTRY TALE
IT'S A POULTRY TALE
OF FOLK DOWN ON THE FARM
A-ARM-A-ARM
B-GAD-EHR!