Yummy

I found a diet!
I urge you to try it.
It's one that I'm sure you don't know.
You'll find it in no magazine,
Though it's perfect for keeping you lean!
Atkins was right when when he said carbs weren't quite
What we needed to get up and go;
Though, for too long you've struggled in vain
to avoid meat that's been raised upon grain.
I have no interest in fruit, leaf,
or seed; Protein alone gives me all that I need.
For I'm an auto-cannibal.
Auto-cannibal.
I seek only to feast upon me.
For I'm farm-fresh and free-range, you see.
And I'm chock-full of all types of Vitamin-B!
Auto-cannibal;
Not a cannibal.
Oh no, I pose no threat to you.
As food I don't trust ya,
You just don't pass muster.
God knows what your body's been through.
It's not offensive if you're
apprehensive, though let me tell you it's a breeze.
I started by dipping a toe
In my mouth
Then my interest did grow!
As I grew bolder I nibbled a shoulder
And chopped up my ankles and knees.
As the sizzled and smoked in the
pan, with a glass of my blood I began.
After the meal, I had imported cigars
And sat and admired my new surgical scars!
Auto-cannibal!
Auto-Cannibal!
Don't panic, organic, that's me!
No hormones and no MSG!
No cigarettes or drugs, no coffee or tea!
Auto-Cannibal!
Auto-cannibal!
Each day there is less of me left.
On my meat I flourish,
and though I am nourished, of movement I now am bereft.
My mission continues as I pick the sinews
From every last cranny and nook.
My finger foods went off as planned,
Though I cooked them with only one hand!
I confess I'll be flummoxed
When I reach my stomach, though it should be easy to cook.
To chew it and swallow is fine,
Though it's not at the end of the line!
These newfangled morons have nothing on me,
Eating un-sumptuous beasts so presumptuously!
Auto-cannibal!
Auto-cannibal!
I'll keep eating me 'til I am dead!
I'm down to three stone the scale said,
Though, I'm only a belly, a lung, and a head!
Auto-cannibal!
Auto-cannibal!
No you can't question my purity;
The thing about meat is you are
what you eat, and all that I eat is me!
And all that I ever ate was me
'Til
I
Died.