Pissed (With Pie)

I wanna be drunk when I wake up,
I wanna be drunk by 7 o'clock,
I wanna be smashed before the world wakes,
Pouring vodka not milk on my cornflakes,
No coffee cause I would not be drunk at all.
I wanna be drunk by this morning,
Cause a bit of booze makes it less boring,
Schoefield, windshield I'm not very sober,
I think I'll struggle to get through this song.

Cause I need some booze every once in a while,
Helps me get through Jeremy Kyle,
All dramas through lie detection, mum f#cked a member of One Direction,
Pass the larger lets stop the thinking and,
Carry on with a whole lot of drinking beer with pie, with pie.

Maybe I'll stop drinking now,
Stop my drinking now,
Stop my drinking now,
Or maybe just one more.

Walking into work, I am winning,
I wish this room would stop it's bloody spinning,
Another meeting, they're all repeating and my attention is now depleting,
I need to get to lunchtime so I can drink again.
And maybe other people like me,
You see the little stain below, it really is pee,
Pant's are damper, should be wearing pampers,
Cos' I just think I wet myself.

Cos' when it comes to the evening time,
I spill words when I'm downing the red wine,
I strike a cool pose, in Waitrose,
Chucked out by a guard with a large nose,
Try to hide it,
Try to fight it,
It's too late 'cause I think I shit myself, with pie, with pie.

Maybe I'll stop drinking now,
Stop my drinking now,
Stop my drinking now,
Or maybe just one more.

All by myself.
In a Mexican bar.
All by myself.
In casualty.
All by myself.
Outside of casualty.
All by myself.

Just drunk again,
Yes I'm drunk again,
Completely drunk again,
I think I need some sleep