Quiet Day

Hello?
Can anybody tell me how?
How to love with my full heart?
When I think about the day
we might say good bye
cause I don't want to look too far
into the future
but it scares me not to leave it up to me.
And that is why
I hope it's ok
for me to just be now,
I just need to have a quiet day
And watch things fade away
I think I'll just sit here
and watch you all go by.
To look past this moment
this day
it's exciting,
but it is too big
to imagine for me.
Why do things have to change?
I am a brushstroke on a big canvas
that's not by me.
And that is why
I hope it's ok
for me to just be now,
I just need to have a quiet day
And watch things fade away
I think I'll just sit here
and watch you all go by.
And I'm trying
to form my own treatment,
rather than clinging
to a greater after idea.
But now where is my life?
I'm stumbling in the darkness
and I'm trying to find my own way
to follow through.
And that is why
I hope it's ok
for me to just be now,
I just need to have a quiet day
And watch things fade away
I think I'll just sit here
and watch you all go by