Baraboo Rap

To talk about adventures here in Wisconsin
I got a couple stories that I'd like to share with you
About me and three buddies in the town of Baraboo

First there's Byron Sweeny with the chin full of hair
Says he has to grow it or his head looks like a pear
Some call him Nose Guy and some call him Fatz
Cause he's got a big beer belly from always drinking Blatz

Then there's Earl Crap from the little town of Pound
A hard-core hunter and he hunts year round
He has trouble fishing cause he gots the allergies
Every time he smells a fish he has to blow a sneeze

Finally Charlie Polska - well his friends call him Yak
Wears the big pair of pants to show off the crack
His teeth are nearly rotten and his breath smells like poo
Cause he always chaws a big plug of Red Man chew

Well Baraboo's a place between Fisk and Beaver Fort
It's our favorite town if we don't head nort
Every week we pack the gear and hop in my old truck
We go to hunt and fish and just to test out the luck

I catch a different fish every time I throw a cast
Huge perch, giant pike and big white bass
What do I use for bait today you say you'd like to learn?
A hook, bobber, sinker and the big fat worms

Well we're the best fishermen on Bucksnort Lake
And fish are good eating, guy - I tell ya, cripes sake!
Our gear is the best I say, tackle, poles and reels
We use minnows, worms, lures, grubs and black leech eels

Well I was using nightcrawlers, Byron used a brat
Earl was having problems with a handful of snot
Charlie used a lure, and gave the rod a flip
And accidentally caught old Byron in the lip

Well after that fiasco, Charlie caught a bass
Happy dude swallowed chew and yacked in the grass
Drinking hard was Byron with the belly full of beer
He caught a swell perch and we all let out a cheer

We found a school of crappie, catching them by the pound
And I noticed once again that my bobber went down
I says This fish is fighting, I'd swear that I have two!
I reeled it in and checked the hook and says Cripes, I do!

Later on that day I got snagged in the muck
So I looked around and thought Oh, cripes - This sucks!
But then the line went screaming and the fish broke my pole
So I grabbed a beer, got drunk and went to town to bowl

Well I got sick of bowling, cause it was getting lame
Let's go back to Baraboo and shoot for some game
The gun and shells were in the truck, I opened up a beer
Time to kill some squirrels, birds and white tail deer

(Beat-Boxing)

Walking through the woods in my blaze orange suit
What me gonna kill, hey? What me gonna shoot?
Over by the tree there I see my buddy Earl
Says he wants to kill a big, fat gray squirrel

Earl yells He's in the tree! and loaded up his gun
But after missing all three shots he said This ain't no fun!
Then I saw it standing - frozen cold as if in fear
About a ten or twenty-pointer huge white tail deer

I took a shot and missed the deer, the buck began to flee
I chased and tried to catch it, but got clotheslined by a tree
Earl came and helped me up, I ran throughout the land
I tried to find the deer as Earl searched from the stand

I ran and searched and searched and ran without an ounce of luck
I couldn't find a sign nor hide nor hair of that old buck
Then the tree was empty, and Earl could not be found
Until I spied him in the woods squatting, pants down

It's time to quit our hunting Earl, it's getting kind of late
Let's check out Sauk County Fair and find a couple dates!
Holy crap, it's six o'clock! We gotta leave now!
Let's pound some beer and go to see the blue-ribbon cow

We ate some kraut and brats til our bellies got full
Hey, ain't that Charlie Polska by the tractor pull?
We entered a raffle to win a John Deere rig
And Earl won the prize when he caught the greased pig

Well ya heard about my stories in the town of Baraboo
I hope you hunting fishers have learned a point or two
We all got stinking drunk on the Old Milwaukee beer
Cause remember that raffle? I won the John Deere!

(Beat-Boxing and scratching)