Still, Dreaming, Still Washing

I still remember those days, when everything was perfect.
Living a normal life.
We were as close as a family could be, oh what I'd give to go back to those days.
But the shadows have consumed all the hope that I had, you see my brave face?
I wear it in disgrace.
Fuck.
Just know, I'll never look at you the same.
How do I, get back to innocence?
I just want the family that I love, but you tore it all apart.
Just take me back to the start, I'll never see you the same (it's tearing me apart).
And oh how it breaks me to say, that you made it this way.
Every night, everyday, every lie along the way.
I heard it all, oh I heard it all.
I thought I was safe behind the door but the screams came through.
Yeah, the screams came through.
Tell me now was it fucking worth it?
Was it worth it when the choices that you made, led to losing more than you had gained.
It wasn't enough to break up the family that you loved.
You left the place where you raised us, you found a new home and you broke our trust.
How do you expect to show me the way, when the past stains every single word that you say?
I'm tired of longing for what will never be.
A dream that yesterday will repeat itself to me, has now turned into a nightmare that I see, holding onto this dream has been destroying me.
And I will always love you,
I said I'll always love you.
But never again will I respect you.