The Gnu Song

Here's another animal song.

A year ago, last Thursday, I was strolling in the zoo,
When I met a man who thought he knew the lot.
He was laying down the law about the habits of baboons,
And the number of quills a porcupine has got.
So I asked him, "What's that creature there?"
He answered, "Oh it's a h-elk."
I might have gone on thinking that was true,
If the animal in question hadn't put that chap to shame,
When it remarked, "I hain't a h-elk! I'm a g-nu!

I'm a g-nu, I'm a g-nu,
The g-nicest work of g-nature in the zoo.
I'm a g-nu, how d'you do?
You really ought to k-now W-ho's W-ho!
I'm a g-nu, spelled G N U,
I'm g-not a camel or a kangaroo,
So let me introduce,
I'm g-neither man or moose,
Oh g-no g-no g-no, I'm a g-nu!"

I had taken furnished lodgings down at Rustington-on-Sea,
Whence I travelled on to Ashton-under-Lyne, it was actually.
And the second night I stayed there, I was wakened from a dream,
Which I'll tell you all about... some other time.
Among the hunting trophies on the wall above my bed,
Stuffed and mounted, was a face I thought I knew.
A bison? No, not a bison.
An okapi? It's unlikely really.
Could it be a hartebeest?
Then I seemed to hear a voice: "I'm a g-nu!

I'm a g-nu, a g-nother g-nu.
I wish I could g-nash my teeth at you.
I'm a g-nu, how d'you do?
You really ought to k-now W-ho's W-ho!
I'm a g-nu, spelled G N U,
Call me bison or okapi and I'll sue;
G-nor am I in the least like that dreadful hartebeest,
Oh g-no g-no g-no,
G-no g-no g-no, I'm a g-nu!
G-no g-no g-no,
I'm a g-nu!