Look Out, There's a Monster Coming

Lonely, unmarried, looking for love,
Life was passing me by.
So, I sent off my photo, hobbies and age,
Magazine marriage I've tried.
They say for centuries, lovely Japanese girls
Have been trained in the art of pleasing men.
Be lonely no more, open Destiny's door.
For one dollar, they arrange a meeting.
- o -
My image was wrong, I didn't like me,
So I changed my personality.
I bought a deluxe Mersey Beat wig
But it was a size too big.
What confidence in my new built up shoes,
So smart for winter or summer.
Undetectable in normal every day use,
Look out, there's a monster coming.
- o -
Bye-bye binoculars, and Macintosh,
Everything is just great.
I take elocution, learn to speak posh
But still I can't find a mate.
Be popular, learn to play the guitar,
In 7 days, you can be strumming.
Be sociable, learn kissing technique,
Look out, there's a monster coming.
- o -
For my Carnaby clothes, I reshape my nose,
Plastic surgery's best.
To cut down my weight, off comes my left leg,
I passed the swimming costume test.
Are my sideboards too long? Don't my aftershave pong?
I know my new nose ain't running.
What's wrong with my tie, am I getting too high?
Look out, there's a monster coming.
- o -
Disfiguring, ugly, my facial hair
I had removed, electrically.
I rejuvenated my energy cells
And regained my virility, grunt grunt.
He put my hand on my heart,
(I am changing the part?)
He had a machine for a mummy.
Please be gentle with me,
I come to pieces, literally.
- o -
Look out, there's a monster coming.
Look out, there's a monster coming.
Look out, there's a monster coming.