Dr. Finlay

In the land of bonnie Scotland lives a doctor of great fame,
In a place called Tannochbrae, and Doctor Finlay is his name.
All the ladies of the parish, whether bold or quite demure,
Will agree with you and me that Doctor Finlay is the cure.

Oh, Doctor Finlay, we will all agree,
Is without a doubt—let's shout it out—the finest wee GP.
He travels far in his little car and all the ladies say:
"Oh, we never eat an apple 'cause it keeps the doctor away."

Doctor Finlay, Doctor Finlay is a fine young man,
And I'm proud to be housekeeper to him and Doctor Cameron.
Sometimes I hear them argue and the air turns blue,
But I have the last word, for I just say: "Mm-hmm."

Oh, Doctor Finlay, we will all agree,
Is without a doubt—let's shout it out—the finest wee GP.
He travels far in his little car and all the ladies say:
"Oh, we never eat an apple 'cause it keeps the doctor away."

Oh, my, that Doctor Finlay, he's a stickler for the truth.
He thinks his practice makes him perfect,
and he's the confidence of youth.
He insists on modern methods in the medical dominion,
But as the man with the wooden leg said:
"It's a matter of a opinion!"
Oh, Doctor Finlay, we will all agree,
Is without a doubt—let's shout it out—the finest wee GP.
He travels far in his little car and all the ladies say:
"Oh, we never eat an apple 'cause it keeps the doctor away."
Doctor Finlay, may I remind you that you aren't always right.
Take the case of old McPherson
that you diagnosed the other night.
You pronounced the man to be dead
and had us all in quite a funk.
The poor old soul was dead alright,
man—dead drunk!
Oh, Doctor Finlay, we will all agree,
Is without a doubt—let's shout it out—the finest wee GP.
He travels far in his little car and all the ladies say:
"Oh, we never eat an apple 'cause it keeps the doctor away."