Bobby and the Russians

Bobby's one of them guys
Who can't do nothin' right
It ain't like he don't try
He tries with all his might
But no matter how tantalizing the reward
No matter how precise the plan
Well it always goes barrelin' south
And the shit doth hit the fan

Bobby heard from big blue
A shipment coming through
Some drugs some guns and maybe
A stolen sports car or two
Now this was out of Bobby's league
But he owed some guy some dough
And they had no sense of humor
And his thumbs was gonna go

Now when the threat of no thumbs loom life
Ja man sets his sights higher
Bobby bought a gun from big Lou
One, unbeknownst to Bobby, known to misfire
But it wasn't like he was gonna shoot
He was gonna aim and they was gonna run
See, watchin' old Sylvester Stallone movies on Netflix
Was the closest Bobby ever got to a gun

Hoo-hoo
(Fuckin' Bobby now)
Hoo-hoo
(Fuckin' Bobby now)
Hoo-hoo
(Fuckin' Bobby now)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

The shipment arrived at the dock
Bobby was there in a mask
Scrutinizing two dozen Russians involved
In the unloading task
The moon lit the scene well
Feeble Bobby's voice did yell
"Give up the goods, you freakin' Ruskies!"
They laughed "Go to hell!"

Boris grabbed the gun
And at Bobby he aimed clear
But as predicted that gun misfired
And blew Boris's brains clear off the pier
Headin' up the rear
Those men Bobby owed money to in fear
With automatic weapons ending
Two dozen Russian careers
They confiscated the goods
And they heard Bobby's pleas
To show they were generous,
They let him keep his thumbs
But they broke both his knees

So here sits Bobby celebratin'
His good fortune in a coma
But the load of that gun from Big Lou
Has a certain foul aroma
Cause if Bobby had been the one
That had fired that gun instead
Well admittedly, he'd be here
With his knees and his thumbs intact
But indeed, no fuckin' head

Hoo-hoo
(Fuckin' Bobby now)
Hoo-hoo
(Fuckin' Bobby now)
Hoo-hoo
(Fuckin' Bobby now)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
That's it Brian