Hey Ladies

(Hey) hey ladies in the place, I'm callin' out to ya
There never was a city kid truer and bluer
There's more to me than you'll ever know
And I've got more hits than Sadaharu Oh

Tom Thumb, Tom Cushman or Tom Foolery
Date women on TV with the help of Chuck Woolery
Words flowin' out just like the Grand Canyon
And I'm always out lookin' for a female companion

I threw the lasso around the tallest one and dragged her to the crib
I took off her moccasins and put on the bib
Wheelin' and dealin', I make a little bit of a stealin'
I'll bring you back to the place and your dress I'm peelin'

Your body's on time and your mind is appealin'
Starin' at the cracks up there up on the ceilin'
Such and such will be the bass that I'm throwin'
I'm talking to a girl, telling her I'm all-knowin'

She's talking to the kid (who? to the kid)
I'm telling her every lie that you know that I never did

Hey ladies, get funky
All the ladies in the house
The ladies, the ladies

Well, me in the corner with a good-lookin' daughter
I dropped my drawers, said, "Welcome back, Kotter"
We was cuttin' up the rug, she started cuttin' up the carpet
In my apartment, I begged her, "Please, stop it"

The gift of gab is the gift that I have
And that girl ain't nothin' but a crab
Educated (no), stupid (yep)
And when I say stupid, I mean stupid fresh

I'm not James at 15 or Chachi in Charge
I'm Adam and I'm adamant about livin' large
With the white sassoons and the looks that kill
Makin' love in the back of my Coupe De Ville

Then I met a little cutie, she was all hopped up on zootie
I liked the little cutie, but I kicked her in the booty
'Cause I don't kinda go for that messin' around
You be listenin' to my records, a number one sound

Just step, step to the rhythm, step, step to the ride
I've got an open mind, so why don't you all get inside?
Tune in, turn on, to my tune that's live
Ladies flock like bees to a hive

Hey ladies, get funky
Hey, hey, hey, hey ladies
Hey, hey, hey, hey, ladies
One more time, ain't it funky now
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey ladies
Ain't it funky now (you know that)

She's got a gold tooth, you know she's hardcore
She'll show you a good time, then she'll show you the door
Break up with your girl, it ended in tears
Vincent Van Gogh, go and mail that ear

I call her in the middle of the night when I'm drinkin'
The phone booth on the corner is damp, and it's stinkin'
She said come on over, it was me that she missed
I threw that trash can through her window 'cause you know I got dissed

Your old lady left you and you went insane
You blew yourself up in the back of the 6 Train
Well, take my advice at any price
A gorilla like your mother is mighty weak, man

Suckin' down pints 'til I didn't know
Woke up in the morning with the one ton Ho
'Cause I announce, I like girls that bounce
With the weight that pays, about a pound per ounce

Girls with curls, and big long locks
And beatnik chicks, just wearing their smocks
Walkin' high and mighty like she's number one
She thinks she's the passionate one

Hey ladies, get funky

What's that?
Good god
Good god, dance
Good god
Baby, baby, baby, baby
Ain't it funky, brother?
He, ha, ha, ha
Hey, hey, hey, hey ladies
Hey, hey ladies