I Can Do That

What exactly do you do for a living?

Well... I've been know to do
Some painting, decorating, bricklaying
Dog training and Wedding DJing.

Welding, gelding, fencing
I've even carried stuff for Sherpa Tenzing

I've been a farmer, a snake charmer
Bill wrote a lesson for the Dalai Lama

Carl's qualified in cod psychology
And I can turn my hand to gynocology

A butcher, a baker, a candlestick maker
An overachiever as an undertaker

Personal services, assisted showers
Fact creation 24 hours

A little bit of this
A little bit of that
I don't charge much
And I won't charge VAT
Tell me what you want and I'll change me hat
I've been there, I've done it
I tell ya...
I can do that

I can do that.
Just cash, just cash.
Don't mention anything to the tax man
And don't write anything down
I can do that, a little bit of this, a little bit of that
Turn me hand to anything really
Alright then

I've been a gigolo for Kate Bigelow (nice)
An understudy baritone in Figaro

I fixed a football match, a fridge and a car.
We once ran the bar at a bar mitzvah,

A lorry driver and a diver for pearls
I taught the Dagenham Girl Pipers how to do their twirls

I sold a skip load of make up to Katie Price
Some wholesale pharmacy... did that twice

I've been a goody, a baddy
Trevino's caddy
Ask me nicely
And I'll be your daddy

Bespoke bicycle and boiler repair
And if you don't pay Our Bill...
You'll get hospice care

A little bit of this
A little bit of that
I don't charge much
And I won't charge VAT
Tell me what you want and I'll change me hat
I've been there, I've done it
I tell ya...
I can do that

Rumour has it that times are hard
But I say
It's simple economic theory
Like that bloke Milton Keynes says:
"Something'll turn up"

But my ultimate ambition
What I want to do most of all
Is to do nothing at all
Like our good friend Matt Percival