Really Scared

Yeah, I feel like people are really weird about admitting when they're scared
If you're not scared ever, you're just lying or something. You're being weird
Ten days in the Bay left
And I don't mean to overthink that
Got a one-way straight to LAX
And I ain't blinked yet
I know you think that
I done figured out this whole thing
Like where is chink at?
Segue to Lil Dicky getting bigger than Yao Ming
But can I shrink that? Where my shrink at?
I don't know what to feel, everything has gotten totally real
Everything I always wanted right in front of me with nobody near
So it's weird that I'm overly scared, but I'm so unprepared
Holding a beer, I'm witholding the fear
Not in the clear but I'm kind of revered
And yeah I might appear like the chill type
The veneer's not real in the real-life
What it feel like?
Thanksgiving I was missing, I ain't even miss 'em
Girlfriend hella distant, I ain't even listen
Only shit I really care about is spittin writtens
This is the beginning
I'm just getting into the game
My world's not spinning the same
The shit looking like it's bigger than Dave
It's so crazy
But when all this sit in the stake
I can't brake
Even if I'm afraid it might change me

If you let me
You know I could get deep
Really hope you ready
I'm coming through
Running you
That's what I do
Just know that it's all for you
So what you gonna choose?
Afraid to say OK

And I know I'm not gonna get in the way
But I'm afraid
Who I want to be is what I became
But I'm ashamed
Ain't no coming back
Facing what I wanted
But it's all fucking weird
And now I'm really scared

I ain't made from the projects
But you know I treat the game like a project
So you know it's not the same kind of progress
Different process, but I digress
Other rappers didn't blow overnight
They ain't have a 9-5 that was totally ripe
They was all up on the grind from the moment they write
At 25, hadn't even done a show in my life
It's like - "Damn, I'm a rapper, how did that happen?"
I was making ass then back when
Only used to rapping to my Mac then
Youtube views came in, like "Shoot, let's practice"
Trying to tell you I'm not bred for this shit
Despite that, feeling like I'm meant for this shit
But like that, everything depends on this shit?
And I ain't betting against it
But I ain't had a moment to reflect what I'm betting against it
I'm next even though it's pretentious, I sense it
Relentlous, but it leave me defenseless
I guess I should learn to accept it but it's hectic
Oh, you want a condensed list?
I'm worried that I'm about to give my all to it, 100%
You ain't got to know it all to discover what's left
Pretty fucking intense
And I'm worried that I got a lot of gall when it comes to success
Telling y'all that it's 100%
But what happens if I fall short of what I call the surest of bets?
Cause what's 100%?
What's 100% is that it'll take a lot to make me content
And I'm about to chase around a legend that I fucking invented
While I'm neglecting everybody that I love and respected
Because I hate the thought of coming in second
And I don't want to do no second guessing when it comes to progressing
Because I really couldn't stomach regretting my effort
When I'm at the end and I'm assessing if I could have done better
I better be able to be it or never, or be the best ever
But if somehow I'm really that special then I'm about to deal with mad pressure
I fear that when I finish my assessment I'mma be in depression
Because I'll see a lot of me is regressing
It's obvious to me that to be the best a lot of me is repressing itself
I wonder what I'll see in reflections?
I wonder if I'll run into a woman, cool, but come in second
Or if I'm bound to be the fool at the weddings
Alone and regretting the whole thing
Now you're seeing why it's so big
What would y'all do if y'all were the old me?
Get involved and you gotta give the whole thing
This is no fling, this devoting
Every motherfucking part of yourself
No matter whatever the cards you was dealt
You going all in
I don't know about y'all, but I'm gone
And I don't know if I'm balling or balling

If you let me
You know I could get deep
Really hope you ready
I'm coming through
Running you
That's what I do
Just know that it's all for you
So what you gonna choose?
Afraid to say OK

And I know I'm not gonna get in the way
But I'm afraid
Who I want to be is what I became
But I'm ashamed
Ain't no coming back
Facing what I wanted
But it's all fucking weird
And now I'm really scared