Interrogation Song

Kermit, let's begin
Describe the day you played Berlin
We rehearsed and then we walked about
We ate bratwurst and sauerkraut
That night at ten o' three
Were you inside the portrait gallery?

From ten o'clock to ten o' four
Was when we did the show encore
Hmm, Frog we've got our doubts
Can you confirm your whereabouts?
My alibi is watertight
The audience saw me sing all night

Monsieur we know you did the crime
I was on stage that whole time
Ask who sang "Rainbow Connection"
Thank you Kermit, no more questions

Hello, I think it's time for good cop, romantic cop
Miss Piggy, you could end up locked inside
Now's your chance to save your hide
Gentlemen, I did not know
It's a crime to steal the show
Tell us how the art was taken
If you want to save your bacon
I haven't seen your missing art

All I've stolen is audience hearts
We can give you a plea deal
All you have to do is squeal
I'm not a thief, I don't know how
All I've ever taken is a bow
We'll catch the swine that did this job
Give up the pig puns, creep
Go jump in a lake, that's my suggestion
Thank you Piggy, no more questions

I think she likes me
I don't think your puns are helping the investigation
You know, I think they did it
No they didn't
Yes they did, and we can pin it
If they did, how did they do it?
If they didn't, how did they didn't?
If they didn't then it's easy, 'cause they simply didn't do it
If they did it, then I knew it, but we've nothing that can prove it...

Oh, excuse me
Urgh
Bring in the purple guy with the shnozz
Do you remember what you did
On the night you played Madrid?
I was hit by a raging bull
And rushed off stage to the hospital
Gonzo, what do you know

About the sculpture theft at Madrid's Prado?
I never saw the stolen busts
I spent the night in bed concussed
The truth Gonzo, the clock is tickin'
If you don't believe me, ask the chicken
Camilla was there, she'll co-operate
Madam, are you willing to corroborate?

Bawk bawk begawk, begawk gawk gawk!
Will somebody get this chicken out of here?
Calm down Camilla, it's a routine inspection
Thank you Gonzo, no more questions

Let's go from the start
What do you know about the stolen art?
I didn't know there was a plan
Your accusation is far out man
The chances of us committing a crime
Are less than point zero zero nine
Shern de shern de herf
Sher de chicky en de farney hug

To help with our investigation
Can you do a full translation?
What the chef just said to you
Was "Schnoop do schnnop do schnook"
It's not Swedish
Argh! Argh! Ahaha
Wank wank wank
I, I can do an Elvis impression?
Thank you Muppets, no more questions!

They didn't
No, they didn't
There's no way they did the crime
They couldn't, they're too stupid
They're not criminal masterminds
We do not know who did it, but we know who didn't do it
So we know who didn't do it yes we know who didn't do it

They're incapable of being culpable!