Tiptoe Through the Inferno

do not make the mistake of believe i am the person who is speaking to you now
i am not
that is to say N-O-T
this is an indisputable fact that has been scientifically proven
it is useless to belabor facts that have already been proven
just as it is useless to wander off on a tangent with a bullwhip in search of a dead horse
if you do not accept this to be true
then you are insane and will be locked up

i personally have never been locked up
but that is bevcause i personally have never been insance
nor have have i ever personally, that is to say, as a person, been a criminal.
you, on the other hand, are obviously crazy
this is a scientific fact that is instinctively and intuitively obvious
to all peoples of all races, creeds, and colors.
and in all walks of life.

but do not obsfucate matters with science or other baloney sandwiches
your opinions are not relevant to the issue of your mental capacity
but rather are dead hgorders whirch are not N-O-T to be flogged
my purose here is to clearly
demonstrate to all concerned that you are indeed insance
so that all doctors, policement, and other persons of authority
will be shown to their professional satisfaction the truth of my statements
please do not change color while i am talking to you

of course everyone knows that my statements are always truthful
but unfortunately i must demonstrate to you the fact that you are not in touch with reality
because i have only have your best interests at hearet
and you must learn to function in the modern world of today
may i please have fifty cents?

functioning is the process whereby decent people of society inter-relate with one another
for the sole purpose of keeping the modern world a safe place for all in which to live
if you get my drift