The Ugly Couple Song
I was never pretty
Not even as a child
These gaps between my teeth
They showed up when I smiled
My hair always stood straight up
Like it was terrified to fall
In school it wasn't friends
Or charisma that I lacked
But in elementary pictures
They always put me in the back
And I wasn't tall
Oh these guns of mine never did arrive
Didn't matter what I'd lift
My acne was invinsible
My dandruff was no gift
My voice was high as a lady's
And it's still that way today
But you know I'm glad I waited
That is, I was made to wait
'Cause if'n I'd been taken
I would have missed the best date in the world
She's got a heart that's bigger than her hair
She might never be a model but who cares
She's one cloud and some wings from bein' an angel
And who knows we might make
Something beautiful
Well I have reached maturity
Finally grew into my fro
I guess my ears they missed the news
'Cause they just keep a growin'
I have some great, great dance moves
They never seem to move the girls
But I always hope I'd find the one
Who'd really digged my look
And one night at the comic store
We both grabbed the same book
One about dragons
Well I met her down at Charley's
She spilled her drink on me
She laughed and said that wasn't usually
How she liked her tea
And somehow we got caught up in an evenin'
Full of kisses and romancin'
It wasn't really her perfume
That made me think her sweet
But more how she didn't mind
Me stepping on her feet
When we were dancin'
She's got a laugh that's louder than her pants
She might never walk a runway or do a pole dance
She's one cloud and some wings from bein' an angel
And who knows we might make
Something beautiful
My friends have all been telling me
I ain't looked this good in years
Nothing like a woman
Make you wash behind your ears
She calls me stinky
I call her ferret face or MO
But it ain't all fun and pet names
No, we've been known to fight
About whose better lookin'
But it never lasts all night
On we go
She's got a smile that's brighter than her nails
She might never win a pageant as a female
She's mine and we might some day
Have a little one of our own
And who knows we might make
Something beautiful
Not even as a child
These gaps between my teeth
They showed up when I smiled
My hair always stood straight up
Like it was terrified to fall
In school it wasn't friends
Or charisma that I lacked
But in elementary pictures
They always put me in the back
And I wasn't tall
Oh these guns of mine never did arrive
Didn't matter what I'd lift
My acne was invinsible
My dandruff was no gift
My voice was high as a lady's
And it's still that way today
But you know I'm glad I waited
That is, I was made to wait
'Cause if'n I'd been taken
I would have missed the best date in the world
She's got a heart that's bigger than her hair
She might never be a model but who cares
She's one cloud and some wings from bein' an angel
And who knows we might make
Something beautiful
Well I have reached maturity
Finally grew into my fro
I guess my ears they missed the news
'Cause they just keep a growin'
I have some great, great dance moves
They never seem to move the girls
But I always hope I'd find the one
Who'd really digged my look
And one night at the comic store
We both grabbed the same book
One about dragons
Well I met her down at Charley's
She spilled her drink on me
She laughed and said that wasn't usually
How she liked her tea
And somehow we got caught up in an evenin'
Full of kisses and romancin'
It wasn't really her perfume
That made me think her sweet
But more how she didn't mind
Me stepping on her feet
When we were dancin'
She's got a laugh that's louder than her pants
She might never walk a runway or do a pole dance
She's one cloud and some wings from bein' an angel
And who knows we might make
Something beautiful
My friends have all been telling me
I ain't looked this good in years
Nothing like a woman
Make you wash behind your ears
She calls me stinky
I call her ferret face or MO
But it ain't all fun and pet names
No, we've been known to fight
About whose better lookin'
But it never lasts all night
On we go
She's got a smile that's brighter than her nails
She might never win a pageant as a female
She's mine and we might some day
Have a little one of our own
And who knows we might make
Something beautiful
Credits
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