Weathered

You were awakened
I was never asleep
I was just drilling some holes in my head that perpetually bled
You fed your senses
I made art of myself
I drew bear claws on my chest and third eyes on my head looking down

It was live, it was all live
Ammunition in the gun
And I meant it, every bullet
And I hope they all stung
Because that's what I deal with every time
I lift up the back of my shirt and I show you
What you drew that night with a Swiss Army Knife
Saying "it was only maps of constellations"

Your hands were shaking
Mine were stiff as stones
They said grab a hold
We said fuck off, we'll find our way home
My blood was burning
Yours was spilling out
We said we'd fly to the ends of the earth just to find ourselves

And your heart
It was not there when I needed it the most
I was floating
It was grounded, getting buried too deep to stay close
And I swore I'd dig it up someday
Build a fire just to keep it warm
Then we'll get off the ground
And drink rain from the clouds
And go dance out in the storm

Oh, because birds we fly together
I feel tethered, de-feathered, and weathered
A push at its best would get me out my nest
Then I'll never come home
It was love, it was true love
Not that shit sold from Hallmark, Hollywood, or Wal-Mart
I'm losing twelve years worth of soul mates
And its harder and realer than anything I've ever felt