Dumb

Are you ready? And the fifth-grade final question is...

I think I'm dumb, I think my brain's broke
I found out last night watching a game show
I didn't answer one question right the whole time
I am not smarter than a fifth grader, case closed
And at first I was like man I can't believe he just won
That's so nice and only so young
Good for him, I hope he had fun
He got 'em all right, and I got 'em all wrong

I mean how could I not get one?
Then it all kind of just hit me at once
Like, "Holy shit, I think I am dumb" (Wow)
Should I go and call up my exes?
Track down every girl that I've ever slept with
Like, "Hey, look I know I never messaged you back
Has it really been ten years? Oh, wow

Look I don't want to get you freaked out but I just gotta let you
Know now that I just found out that I'm stupid
You should probably go ahead and get your IQ tested"
And I guess that I don't know what can be done
All I know is I don't wanna be dumb, dumb, dumb

So dumb I should be tested, so why you never said shit?
How come no one told me I was dumb? How come?
Da da da, dumb, dumb, da da da da da, da da
But how come no one ever said that I'm dumb?

I've always been so outspoken
But I know now just how stupid I sound
I'm just a loud bogan
I felt I would have outgrown it
I mean what was the crowd smoking
To go download my whole album?
I mean I'm barely house broken
I don't know what the Dow Jones is

I mean at dinner parties, I'm out my depth
Can't remember cool stuff like them
I'll just smile and nod my head
I don't know what the fuck she said
I'll just Google it once she's gone
So I can forget it the second I've read it
I'm thick and slow witted and they tell me I'm inappropriate

One time in Hawaii, I jerked off with cheap shampoo
And my skin just peeled right off, but keep that between me and you
Man, I wish I had a clue, I wish I knew what I should do
I may not have a big IQ, at least my dick is all brand new

So dumb I should be tested, so why you never said shit?
How come no one told me I was dumb? How come?
Da da da, dumb, dumb, da da da da da, da da
But how come no one ever said that I'm dumb?
So dumb I should be tested, so why you never said shit?
How come no one told me I was dumb? How come?
Da da da, dumb, dumb, da da da da da, da da
But how come no one ever said that I'm dumb?

Whoo, I need a minute, gimme a minute
Excuse me, this room is spinning
I'm woozy, I'm too lightheaded
I'm stupid, clueless, pathetic
The screws are loose in my head
And the fuses blew, I'm dimwitted
This news is super depressing

I'm loose and I'm too thick-headed
I truly do wish I wasn't
Don't get me wrong, I'm not bragging
I'm not proud of it, so fuck it then
I'ma get smart, I'ma get smart
I'ma get way more smart, boy
I'ma make my brain all large
'Cause I'm sick of being Ricky from the Trailer Park Boys

And the whole time this young kid on the quiz show's
Staring at me with his smug grin, well, fuck him
'Cause I'm just so dumb

So dumb I should be tested, so why you never said shit?
How come no one told me I was dumb? How come?
Da da da, dumb, dumb, da da da da da, da da
But how come no one ever said that I'm dumb?
So dumb I should be tested, so why you never said shit?
How come no one told me I was dumb? How come?