The Cat's 9 Lives Song

And now, the world premiere of how a cat wasted his nine lives.

Looking down from heaven,
I see my flat carcass in front a seven-eleven.
Wish I could say it was the first time,
but I'm a cat, so in terms of lives she's had nine.
The first time I died as I remember,
I landed on my feet, but it was into a blender;
next life my fancy feast cans has something in him,
the really fancy thing was botulism;
took life trhee easy napping on some jeans,
the problem was the jeans were in a washing machine.
Don't feel sorry for me,
I've had nine times the life that you could ever dream.
Life four! I became a pillow on Pinterest.
Life five! I died from sheer disinterest.
Life six! Had the urge to fell the lava on my whiskers.
Life seven! Chased a bird into a wood chipper.
Life eight! Donated my guts for tennis rackets.
But turns out that don't even use cat guts, can you put that in brackets?
We add it in post!
I hope this song wasn't a drag,
I just had to let this cat out of the bag.