Doin Damage

It's hard to be sober but it's easy to be bent
When you got some extra money and don't need it for the rent
Got a girlfriend now, that I secretly resent
Cause she takes up all the time that I previously spent on myself

And girls just wanna have fun
And she be all fun when her job is done
But my job is another thing, 24/7 hustling
She wanting to do a couple things, cuddling

I like to watch movies, I really fucking do
But I can't stop moving just cause I fell in love with you
And now I'm just an irritable bastard
Like my homie E said a man can't serve two masters

And I've got a third one chillin' in my stomach
A little leprechaun screaming "alcohol I want it"
And he never ever shut up he says come on keep it coming
And the alcohol goes along with the music and the women

So I, black out on the regular
And it's rare I'm a end of the night rememberer
God damn, I'm a drunken mess
Maybe that's why I'm always fucking depressed

I'm doing damage
Yeah, I'm doing damage
To my body and mind, I'm doing damage
Call the doctor, he'll probably find, I'm doing damage

My health just ain't what it used to be
Cause I done smoked a packed of cigarettes a day since I hit puberty
And stupidly, I keep on going and buying 'em
And my lungs probably got some cancer growing inside of 'em

And it, be effecting how I breathe at times
I hit playback, hear myself wheeze between the lines
I could probably quit if I was thinking clear
But my willpower goes out the window soon as I start drinking beer

And every freakin' year I got the same resolutions
January second I be making excuses
The leprechaun is a dangerous nuisance
Who sips champagne while he angrily two steps

I got a deal now, which should be essential
To straighten up my act and live up to my potential
But I just can't taste that success
Maybe that's why I'm always fucking depressed

I'm doing damage
Yeah, man, I'm doing damage
It's probably gonna catch up soon, I'm doing damage
Call the doctor, I need a checkup soon, I'm doing damage
Bridge.

I didn't want to be this way
Didn't want to get like this everyday
But my formula's something that I can't touch
Cause I'm gonna cycle through in the clutch
I come through in the clutch, I come through in the clutch

I'm too much for you ducks to touch
I am illustrious
I am a bad mother fucker and I truly believe that
But I gave some shit up to achieve that

Like my family and my friends they don't call me anymore
Cause when they would call I would always hit ignore
I was always self-absorbed with absorbing myself
I drink it up drink it up drink it up 'til there's no more of myself

And I don't value my father and my mother enough
I don't value the company of others enough
And human interaction is an essential part of happiness
I believe, and that's what I've been rapping to achieve

And I didn't anyway cause I'm in love with this shit
But alcoholism and music something that comes with this shit
When you're living for yourself, it's a lonely existence
And if you talk to yourself, you gon' be the only one listening

And that about sums it up
I'm out of gin and I really want another cup
So I'm out, to the store I guess
Cause that's where I go when I'm fucking depressed
I'm doing damage